The wedding day

In the morning after breakfast relatives from all over rolled up and again there were conversations going on at the tops of their voices in several dialects.  Then Alex got dressed in his wedding clothes, and I have to say he looked pretty good in a black suit, pinkish shirt and red tie.

Alex and Zheng Pin dispensed with some of the normal traditions. Normally the groom would go to the bride’s home early in the morning and take her back to his house where she would sit around all day entertaining guests before the wedding breakfast. In this case they made allowances for her six months pregnancy, and two people went on Alex’s behalf to go and get her and take to Alex’s house about 1.30 pm. Of course, this was arranged in advance but not who would go and get her so there was a long discussion about who this would be.

She arrived here by car which was all dressed up with flowers and ribbons, they really go to town with their wedding cars here, and Alex went down to meet her. He escorted up her up the stairs, and whooshed her straight through the house to the bedroom, which had been completely decked out with all new bedding, red of course. She sat on the bed for a few minutes then came out to the lounge and sat there, looking quite uncomfortable at first.

She normally wears glasses but didn’t have them on today and I think she looks much better with them on. Anyway, she wore red, with a nice red fur cape which was necessary because it was a pretty cold day. The noise of all the people chattering was pretty loud.  After a while they had a little tea drinking ceremony, where Alex and Zheng Pin stood and sort of had tea with everyone, one by one, but no one really drank. And then when they had done that they gave Alex their red pocket.

I thought the choice of wedding dress was good, and with the cape around her shoulders you would hardly know she was pregnant. It seems the top of the dress was a bit big, she asked Alex for a big roll of Sellotape and she shoved that down the front to fill it out more as far as I can make out.

Weddings here are really a pay-for-your-own affair, and every guest, well at least you are supposed to, gives them a red (for luck) envelope, called a red pocket, and in this this envelope is some money. It is not normal to give gifts, usually money. And then the groom pays for the reception with this money, and there is usually a bit left over. A Chinese wedding is a very expensive thing to put on.

People generally put their names on the red pocket, but the amount given is unknown to the onlookers. Some may only give a little, and others can be very generous. Relatives especially are generous, and this is a system of what comes around goes around, so that if you went to a wedding and gave generously, you would usually get a generous amount back.

Anyway, about six people had this little drinking ceremony and gave them their red pockets. Then his cousin did. Now I have had a somewhat love/hate relationship with this cousin. There have been times when I thought she was probably the most obnoxious Chinese person I had ever met, and other times she was quite kind and I thought she was okay, but she did  not give a red pocket, she gave it in open cash, first one handful, then another. I don’t know how much altogether, maybe 3,000 or 4,000 rmb, but it was there for all to see. I thought it was the most distasteful and crass thing to do. Everyone knows her family has pots of money, but I thought it very bad form.

After that, Alex and Zheng Pin, and several friends, including her bridesmaid, dressed in an old blue winters coat and slacks and boots, and I went and sat on the bed and chatted for about two hours. Some of them could speak reasonable English, so we chatted about all and sundry.

Then it was time for the reception, so I will cover that in the next post.