The day before the wedding

The day before the wedding.

The house has been a hive of activity. People from all over the place have turned up, and there are women (relatives of some sort)  all sitting round, making rice balls and dumplings, chatting at the top of their  voices, helping to prepare the banquet for tonight. I guess it’s not much different from a big family party at home. The difference is, it is all the old people, and no one young really.

Tonight there is going to be a blessing on the house, so I am going up to sleep at the aunties house in a different apartment on a different floor. I am keeping out of those sorts of things. They are supposed to come at 3am and it is supposed to last for 2 hours. Not for me.

In the afternoon we transported my air bed and bedding upstairs and I got myself sorted. The dinner started at about 6.30, so we went down to this large tent area that had been set up outside the front door, on the street. It seems acceptable to just use the street for big affairs if that’s what you want o do. I see the tent has moved up and over the street this morning.

There were about 100 present, and I was very interested in the attendees. I was asking Alex lots of questions, because this is all new to me. He said most of them were his father’s relatives. Most of them were older. There were a few teens and children, but Alex didn’t know who they were. He said he would know about ten people of the 100 or so that were there. (He was paying for this).

The food was good, with lots of different dishes. I didn’t have too much of anything, not knowing how much was still to come, so at the end, I hadn’t eaten that much. There were some people sitting at a table a little distance away, and then someone sent them over to sit at our table. I guess I could mention, that in the seating hierarchy I did okay last night, sitting on Alex’s right, which is the place of honour apparently.

The man that came to sit next to Alex on the left was a man I had seen before. I knew I knew him as soon as I saw him. Alex did not know him and did not believe me, and still thinks I am making a mistake, and maybe I am, it seems a huge coincidence to sit by someone I met somewhere in China at some time, a one in 1.4 billion chance. But, I really do think I had met him and I think he recognised me. He was a weasel of a man. I recognised his voice and his way of speaking. He claimed to speak no English, but he could, and I think his English was quite good, because the few things he said were in complete sentences and the speaking was all correct. He had a huge meal, and as soon as new dishes came to the table his chopsticks were the first in there for the choicest pieces.

After the meal was finished I went up to Alex’s flat, and a bunch of people came up, including the others at our table that he didn’t, know, including this weasel man. I texted Alex to come straight up, which he did. This man, and the others, that Alex had never met before came and poked all around the house, and I watched the weasel man very closely, following him all around. He had the gall to offer me some tea, he obviously did not know who I was or who Alex was, and he offered it in excellent English.  Haha, the trouble was he offered from a set used only by Alex’s father.

This man stood for a long time in front of some photos of Alex’s grandparents and his mother. He was there for ages, just looking. I was watching him like a hawk, and actually tried to take a video of him but it didn’t come out for some reason.

After Alex came up the weasel man left. Alex had had the forethought of locking all the bedrooms before he went down to the meal so all that stuff was safe enough.

After he had gone, Alex stood also looking at the photos and then realised what the man had seen. On the shelf just under the photos was a small pile of money cards, ones that can be used at a supermarket or shop, a bit like ATM card that you can buy in advance and just use in the supermarket. Alex thinks he was eyeing these up in the hope of snaffling them. As it happened the cards had all been used up anyway there was no money left on them, but as far as I could see he didn’t take anything.

I will be interested to see if the weasel man rolls up at the wedding tonight.

The people came to bless the house apparently at 2 am, and stayed for about an hour and a half. I slept right through it. This morning the old ladies are back fussing over all the leftovers and sorting out the food.

They are setting up the marriage bed, complete with a whole set of red bedding and pillows and cushions. A bit late really considering they have been legally married for months and she is now 6 months pregnant.

Ah well……….

Food, glorious food!

The lyrics from the stage play ‘Oliver’ say it all. And part of the old customs to do with a Chinese wedding is to give food to the family. In this regard, the cupboards are filling up, and so is the floor, with bags of food.

I guess this comes from the old times when food was much more scarce, and weddings were a financial burden on the families involved. Today, the wedding breakfasts are held at a posh hotel, with enough food for a small city, but still the old customs continue.

Relatives and friends from the surrounding countryside are rolling up with everything imaginable. Large bottles of oil, noodles enough to feed an army, a huge bag of ginger, some other vegetables that I don’t recognise, dried mushrooms, a new wok, and lots and lots of other stuff that is in bags that I can’t see into.

Alex’s father is very interesting to watch. He has relatives all around this area, and they are rolling in regularly. They are mostly older, and only speak the local dialect. So they chatter away, and poke around and see what else has been given as gifts, then they have a good look around the house, go into the bedrooms and see what is there, and then they see me. That sets them back on their heels a little, so I have to be explained. I think they are mostly reducing the explanations by saying I am a teacher or was a teacher at Longyan, and all these people know Longyan.

Alex’s father seems to be another one with generally a fairly solitary existence, but in these small families, have a wedding is a really big deal, and especially the wedding of your only son. Peter and I have been through this four times already and still have one more wedding to come at some time, assuming our youngest daughter finally takes the plunge.

But here, when visitors come to the door, or call Alex’s father to say they are on the way up the stairs, there is a subtle change in him. He gets this little grin on his face which says, ‘I am a little important here’, and he fusses around and gets them chairs and welcomes them in and sees them out.  I think he is really enjoying the fuss and attention, and the change although subtle is easily there to see. I am enjoying watching him in his different phases.

Then of course, when the people leave, the gifts and food need to be re-organised and re-sorted, and tut-tutted over.

Alex’s father, (I can’t remember his Chinese name) and I are still having this little ongoing affair with the windows being open or closed. We both win a little and lose a little. Today, against all the weatherman’s dire predictions, the sun is out, the sky is very blue and it’s warm.

A few days ago I  found in one of the big supermarkets, some of the magic cleaning pads, the ones that get the scuff marks off the walls.  There are plenty of scuff marks here especially around the windows were we often stand to see the local world in action, and I bought some of these pads. The problem was, how to get to use them. I explained to Alex about teaching your grandmother to suck eggs, and I didn’t want to appear to be telling his father how to clean his house, but as he would not know about these cleaning pads I would like to show him how they worked. I have actually surreptitiously been attacking some marks over the past couple of days. (I’m full of diplomacy, and face saving comes into account too.)  So I showed him this morning and he was suitable impressed with the results. But the problem is, I am supposed to be the guest, and guests don’t run around the house cleaning it, so he is not happy with me doing the work. So every time he goes out, I toddle around and clean off a few more marks. The house is slowly getting whiter and whiter. I guess he will notice, but not say anything.

I bought a big thick woollen scarf this morning. It is going to be freezing in Suzhou when I go there, and I will need something like that. I can also pull it up over my head and use it as a hat. I certainly won’t need it when I come home, I will leave it with Cindy in Suzhou or maybe with Alex’s wife when I leave.

I will finish for now on a sweet note. Alex’s father is terribly concerned at my excessive sugar intake. Diabetes is a big problem here, I don’t know why, they never have much sugar in their diets. On the other hand, I have two large mugs of coffee a day, and add sugar. He was so worried he talked to Alex about it and for Alex to ask me how I could have so much and not be sick. In reality, I am having much less sugar than I would normally have at home, I get no refined foods, no packaged foods, little cake or biscuits etc. I have a little chocolate sometimes, and the strawberry drinks will have something, but maybe artificial sweeteners. I have also found milo so will have one of those each night before bed, and after the obligatory gallons of green Chinese tea (sugarless of course). Anyway I thought it was cute that he was so concerned.

Follow this link for the before and after pics…..the proof is in the pudding.

http://www.englishstoriesforfun.com

Ridgey Didge Chinese tucker.

For un-Australia readers, tucker is food, and ridgey didge is true blue, all right, fair dinkum, true, the real thing, the real McCoy etc.

Alex’s mother died about 7 years ago, so his retired father takes care of him, doing all the cleaning, cooking, etc. His father is a good cook, and while I am here I am getting some good food.

The Chinese seem to pack away an enormous amount of food at each sitting. I think, for my visit, there is some extra food being prepared, this is one of their ways of showing that their guest is welcome, by supplying copious amounts of food.

At most meals there are about 6 or 7 dishes on top of the obligatory rice. At each meal there are about 3 fresh dishes, and a big bowl of vegetable soup with some sort of meaty bones in it. The problem is, that what you don’t eat at this meal comes back to haunt you for the next one. And the next one, and sometimes the next one. So there will be 3 or 4 fresh dishes and several cold ones. With my stomach being what it is, I rarely eat the left over stuff.

Here are some pictures of last night’s dinner. 

At the back you can see two small bowls. These are some left overs from previous meals. Then there is the white carrot soup, which tastes like a sweet swede, pork and mu’er, the black mushrooms, and on the right of that a fish and tofu dish. I don’t usually eat their fish, it is full of little bones.

Pic 2. You can see how much rice they eat each meal, I would have about half to three quarters of a cup, they put away the rest.

Pic 3. The pork and mu’er dish. Not a very clear pic unfortunately, and I can’t take another one, it has all been eaten. Mu’er stands for wood ear, it is a type of mushroom that grows round wood. It is black, slipper, you buy it dried and soak it and boil it for a few minutes, but it is surprisingly tasty.